How Many Times (In Response to Psalms 79-83)
How many times will I grab for things of this world, feel the sensation under my skin, and open my hand to find it empty?
How many times will life disappoint and you've rescued me?
How many times will I try before I stop trying anymore?
How many times will I step on to this platform of pride and the bottom drops out?
How many times will this web of security I spin, end up strangling me with its control?
How many times will you cry out for me and I be distracted or not listen?
How many times will you be there for me when I least deserve it?
How many times will you love me for the relationship you have to me, not for my personality or actions?
How many times will you caress my wounds and wipe my tears?
How many times will I grab for things from you and find my hand turns up FULL, constant and faithful?
How many times will you be God and I be the the "one you love"?

Lord save me from my own lusts
Nothing good ever seem to come from them anyway
What if I could be filled with only You
What true grace would befall me then?
Would I walk with splendor or humility?
Show me what it is to love you, live for you, and die for you
Show me as many times as it takes