The Purity of His Creation

Some days I feel so distant from God
When suddenly He reveals Himself to me
A lone tree standing strong in a field
Or the humbling view from a mountain peak
The waters conversation with the shore
The irony of a desert stream
Wind whispering through the woods
A sunset burning the oceans face
When lightning splits the sky from the Heaven to the Earth
It’s the place where mortality falls away
and I’m left with the simplicity of it all
The evidence of God painted across the horizon
Stripped of any human interpretation
Absent of any distractions
Without opportunity to be Marthas,
Just the privilege to sit like Marys
Drinking in the wisdom of God’s Message
Viewing the snapshot of His beauty
Absorbing the purity of the moment
Knowing there is a God in heaven
Who reveals mystery and grace
And meets us daily on this earth
In this very place

How Many Times (In Response to Psalms 79-83)
How many times will I grab for things of this world, feel the sensation under my skin, and open my hand to find it empty?
How many times will life disappoint and you've rescued me?
How many times will I try before I stop trying anymore?
How many times will I step on to this platform of pride and the bottom drops out?
How many times will this web of security I spin, end up strangling me with its control?
How many times will you cry out for me and I be distracted or not listen?
How many times will you be there for me when I least deserve it?
How many times will you love me for the relationship you have to me, not for my personality or actions?
How many times will you caress my wounds and wipe my tears?
How many times will I grab for things from you and find my hand turns up FULL, constant and faithful?
How many times will you be God and I be the the "one you love"?

Lord save me from my own lusts
Nothing good ever seem to come from them anyway
What if I could be filled with only You
What true grace would befall me then?
Would I walk with splendor or humility?
Show me what it is to love you, live for you, and die for you
Show me as many times as it takes

A Lullaby for the Stressed

Before morning breaks ...
There's tears that must come
And fears that must go
Many question I'll ask
But few answers I'll know

My dreams aren't as vivid
As the deception of life
And the disappointment it offers
Brings disillusion to light

My soul holds me hostage
With the sin that it hides
And a blanket of loneliness
Falls over all sides

Who knows what awaits us
On the other side of night
When morn burns the horizon
And God brings his light

So rise in my head
Shine through my fears
Burn with your warmth
Break through my tears

Sing to my spirit
Let it fall on my ears
And create me all over
As morning light nears

A Psalm of Giving
Let me continue to love as you love
Not that many of my debts on earth or heaven could ever be repaid by any act of generosity of kindness
But let me love as the kingdom of God is here on earth
Without limits, knowing that my needs will be provided by your very hand
Let me give with gladness
Let me live simply, so that all my excess can be used for those that need it.
And help me to present it with dignity
Let it show on my face the joy of providing for my family
And make me a woman of integrity
Let my 'yes' be yes and my 'no' be no
Let me not only be intuitive to others needs, but prompt me to ASK what is going on in their lives.
And let me find times to be quiet and listen to your heart, so I know I'm acting on it.
Lord let you shine on this day and as the night comes may you rest with us.
Amen

Sanctuary of God
(A Walk through a Prayer Labryinth)

Hold my hand
Rub my back
Breathe me in & Dont take it back
Because I can take no more unfailing love
As the music chants, I wait for the touch of a hand, the brush on my back, or the breath that seems like something more than usual.
Nothing happens, I came to the center and knelt as a prince and repeated waiting, not willing to leave until I felt something.
"Well, perhaps it will happen at the end" I think and I walk as a bride would between the many lines until I exit the circle and drop to my knees at the altar giving one more LONG chance for God to make Himself known to me and give me the presence I long for.
I prayed and words from the Christmas story come to me of all things. As I said them, they didnt seem quite right, but I dont try to coerse the moment and just let them flow ... "Then the angel came to Mary and said onto them 'Lo a child will be born and they will call him Jesus, because he will save you from your sin'" ... Now as I repeat it, I realize the words are "Immanuel, God with us!" That is what they will call him, that is what he was trying to say.
He was there, he is HERE,
That is the phrase.
That is what he was trying to say!

And the fragile sand dollar broke in my hand and the doves flew out. And a beetle ran across the floor and I couldnt kill it. As I tried to sacrifice it in the flame of the candle, it only scurried at me and I jumped and laughed at myself a good belly laugh.

Let me refuse you nothing
And accept from your hand
......everything that is given
Let not my fears overtake me
And may I continue to speak
..........the Truth this time
And if I fall
let me be humble and rise up again
........Let me continue to meet you face to face in all I do
......................Let it become to my heart like an unending prayer

My love is no short life sentence
It is grief lodge under my skin
It is strength pushed beyond its bounds
...It is compassion in the most sincere form ...
.............A cup of water, a nurturing touch,
....................................or tears shared in pain

Lord, may my first and last breath of the day
.... be from the inspiration that
flows from your nostrils
................And may Your glory
.......................be in the covenant of my love,
..................my passion, my devotion and
..............................my obedience to you
............You are my God and I your faithful servant

Sorry people, my blog is suffering for lack of time to spend on the computer. However good news for me it means I'm busy. However, I am kind of dying to keep up with friendships in my spare time, so I'm not sorry that my extra time has been spent "in person" with people. I've been thinking about friendships lately and the importance of having them and my responsibility to them. I hope no one out there feels taken advantage of lately. My head seems to be spent spinning with stuff to do and the commute to the grand city of Plymouth appears to be soaking up a greater percentage of time than I originally thought. I will make a short list of what's going on with me and if anymore APB's are put out on me (luv ya Laura), feel free to send them this link.

1. (Deleted to protect the guilty and innocent)

2. I have decided against buying and am looking in the new Nicollet/40th neighborhood area, possibly and hopefully with my new roommate Anna Resele.

3. I am on "Day 2" of excercising in the morning. It just has to be 20 mins, but I am trying to discipline myself into a habit of activity everyday. Next week comes the diet ... I'm not sure what that will be yet, but I know it needs to be something with less cola in it. My hands have been crackling when I massage. Kind of embarassing, besides a big sign of what is happening inside my body.

4. Massage has been steady, but I need to push it even more. I put out a small load of letters for chair massage gigs and GMC contacted me to possibly do massage at the Auto Show in October for Suburban, I hope I get the gig. It would be good money and I could employ some of my friends.

5. Ooops, I guess I havent blogged about "Fabulous" yet. We had a terrific 2 weeks of dating when he was here and I hoped to keep "something" up (I dont/didnt know what) when he went back to L.A. What that appears to be is that he calls once a week, but for a Cancer like me ... I'm dont know if I have enough attention span for that long in between. He is a very busy guy with many commitments, 2 businesses, a career on TLC's TS and a house in Venice and Scottland. But so far, I'm just having fun getting to know him. I tell him to tell me a story about himself everytime we talk, cuz sheez he's got more than me, hands down and I still smile when he calls, so that is good. Hopefully, we will hook up again, perhaps in SCOTTLAND next time where he owns his grandfather's house still.

6. Shana and I are going to the fair on Saturday afternoon and into the evening, perhaps catching the free Shawn Colvin concert, if anyone wants to join us.

7. I finished my last book submission, one big deadline left. I will share something from it sometime soon.

Well I got to blow this pop stand and for you that are watching my blog updates, dont expect too much too soon.

So I hope a marvelous weekend was had by all. As my birthday week celebrations began, I can say I was quite pleased with mine. From the Mpls Block Party to Breakfast in Waconia to a Barbeque at Colleens and KPs (thank you kindly lovely ladies) to drinks on a friend's deck after and waterskiing the next day with his family on the St. Croix to drinking wine on Shana's veranda. Each was a fantabulous addition to my Birthday.
 
I unfortunately woke up with a splitting headache and am quickly trying to shag it, since I expect to get one this evening ;-) Mom has asked to take me out for lunch or dinner for my birthday and I realize that some things are a gift to others not yourself. As previously stated in person, I am available until Thursday for other celebrations, just let me know :-) Well off to the Drapes place before break, so they can sing to me and lavish me with tasty deserts. I'm hoping for chocolate. Here's to a great year, I wish my friend Jason was here to give me a Birthday wish, he was always good at giving me specific wishes for the year.